Here are the three of us women in my family. My sister, Rachel, is on the far left and my mom is in the middle, and then of course there's me on the right. We are all three very different from each other while sharing some of the same Hewson/Atwood traits.

Ahh, the beauty of a flower. Oh, the wonderful scent it gives! So, I am just playing around with posting pictures on my blog. This particular picture isn't of any significance. It was taken at my favorite spot in Buena Vista, VA where I attended SVU. I'll post another picture later of the spot.

Enduring Well

I have learned more now that when I am on the right track and when I am about do something that Heavenly Father would have me do, Satan tries his hardest. He doesn't use all at once blows to push me down. After one blow I can get up, but after many many pushing blows it is harder and harder to get up. I realize he knows. He knows the importance of this life. He knows my potential. He knows how I work. I know though what his design is, and I know the plan Heavenly Father set up. I know Heavenly Father is greater and more powerful. It's hard as a human to truly accept and have faith that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ can save me from the advesary's power, but they can.

I am about to go on a mission, a very important thing for the gospel. It means more people delivered from Satan's grasp, and more people have a way back home to Heavenly Father. I am not one to get down often, but in the past while, year or year and a half, and even more just within the past month I have felt the weight. I am down so much more easily, and I just feel heavy and hopeless sometimes. After talking to my Mom on Sunday we realized that the advesary has worked a bit on the whole family. If the advesary can discourage me from one of the most important things in my life, my family, he can discourage me altogether. Along with talking to my family, it was refreshing to go to General Conference. I felt the spirit, and heard things I needed to hear to bring me back up again.

I have always struggled with gaining a testimony of the pioneers. I've never had a hard time accepting Joseph Smith and his vision and what he did. I always thought too much emphasis was placed on the pioneers. Good ol' ungrateful me. In institute last night I realized more about the pioneers. Now, I haven't gotten much from institute all year, because it was church history. Not exactly a class where we study church doctrine, just history. I didn't want to go last night, and probably wouldn't have except for my calling as ward institute rep. pushed me to go. Our teachers organized this great presentation with music to play and parts to read. By the end I came to understand why the pioneers went through what they did, and why we learn about their hardships and trials. The pioneers went throught what they did because Heavenly Father taught them faith and trust in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They wouldn't have come to such great understandings in any other way. They went through what they did for me and for all of the generations after them. They taught endurance. Not just endurance, but enduring well. Enduring with faith, hope, and trust. They knew the gospel was true. They remembered their covenants they made, and they knew there was light after the darkness. I need to endure well. I need to endure without complaining. I need to grow more as I endure. I expect life on this earth to get a bit tougher year by year with the times. It is good to learn endurance now when I can use that knowledge later.

The plan is grand! Life on this earth is wonderful. Life after this earth can be more than wonderful too if I endure well.

Toilet paper beauty

It has been a while since I last wrote. I want to make an apology to my loyal readers out there if there are any. I will now write for you. Yes you.

As I was in the bathroom this morning I noticed our lovely toilet paper has hearts embossed into each square sheet. As I saw this I thought to myself (since bathrooms are good thinking places) , "Why does this toilet paper have hearts on it?". To me toilet paper doesn't need to be pretty. I think of the purposes for toilet paper, and I don't think of hearts or decorative. I think it's decorative enough in a nice smooth cylinderic role. So I'll admit, we use Quilted Northern. Does toilet paper need to be quilted? Am I going to hang it on my wall? I am sure not going to use it to cover me when I sleep. Gosh, people can even buy colored toilet paper! Blue, pink, green. I say we go back to newspaper! Maybe I'll start my own toilet paper business, and I can make toilet paper that is soft like what you can buy now, but it has newspaper print on it! The classic look!

Besides from the toilet paper life, life is good. I have finally turned in my mission papers! I saw the Stake President last week, which I was a bit worried about. The interview was great! I love interviews where you feel a better person when you leave. I am amazed that everything is working out so perfectly for my mission. My bishop from my BYU ward and my Nashville ward has been so great in getting things accomplished quickly. My bishop is willing to help with whatever I need. The Stake President is wonderful too! I have the support from people in my ward, my family, and my friends. I am excited and scared at the same time to see where I go. I just want to be happy and so excited to wherever I am called, because that is where I will need to be.

Miracles

So, on Sunday I was cooking in my lovely apartment's kitchen for a break the fast with my ward. I had just put some garlic cheese buscuits in the oven and was beginning to make my roommate's "Suddenly Salad" for her. Right before this my other roommate had just taken out a pyrex circle glass pan out of the oven and placed it on the back burner to cool. It was hot and had a lot of bacon grease on it. I filled up a pot to put on the stove to boil. I get confused with my not all the way there brain. I turned on the back burner instead of the front one to heat up my pot of water. So i am still standing in the kitchen, cleaning up and waiting for the pot to boil, when all of a sudden I hear this loud bursting bang. Greasy glass flies everywhere. It was in front of me, behind me, to the side of me, but not on me. I didn't get touched. I just stood there stunned. I wasn't sure what had happened. My roommate rushed in with her maternal instincts in bare feet and cleaned up all the glass. She's amazing!

It just kinda hit me yesterday that I was NOT touched by glass. I am amazed that I didn't get scratched or anything even in a midcalf skirt and bare feet. It really didn't seem that big of a deal as I am explaining it now, but it is. How many times in my life have I been protected physically and spiritually by the many daily miracles that happen? I should have probably been involved in 10 car accidents since January. I don't know what else I could have encountered, but there are always daily miracles. Some we realize some we don't, and probably never will realize. Heavenly Father knows us and loves us and has plans for us on this earth. Some are taken home too early in our minds, but Heavenly Father knows where they are needed. Many things that could have happened in our lives that we are saved from may not kill us, but they could have hindered us into accomplishing what we need to do. Maybe they wouldn't have even hindered us, but taught us. I need to live each day to the fullest. I need to grasp my days and accomplish all that I can, and enjoy the journey. I love this gospel, and this life, and the whole plan. The plan is perfect and wonderful!

I am Buddha

Sometimes I wish I could be like Siddhartha Gautama. I would just leave everything, my home, the people I know, to just think. I wish I could find a quiet secluded peaceful place in nature and sit and only think. I could then come to realizations of so many things that I haven't been able to think deeply into before. Sometimes I am afraid to think too deeply because it will 1. either confuse me if I don't have the time to understand or 2. I can't make the time to think it all through and it would be irritating to have a half completed realization. How many things would I come to understand if I could just meditate over it for not 5 min or 30 min, but for hours or for days? Now it wouldn't be too productive to just sit and think, because doing is more productive. So maybe I'll take a month of life to think then I'll take two years to do what I thought.

Maybe I'll become a Mormon Zen Buddhist. After all Zen isn't really a religion completely. I wouldn't believe in a different God or think that I after I die I will be nonexistent, but I'll just incorportate the life style. Then again they focus a lot on tea. Maybe I'll just use hot cocoa or hot water....ooo cider is good. I wonder how peaceful a devoted buddhist is really. I bet pretty peaceful. I just think about it and I am more relaxed. Hmmm....your head is relaxed completely relaxed...your neck is relaxed completely relaxed....your shoulders are relaxed completey relaxed...etc....etc...hmmm....

The One Person Nomadic Tribe

Sometimes I feel like a one person nomadic tribe. I come to one place use up the resources, and then it's time to leave to find a new place. I guess I am so used to moving and meeting different people, that that is what I have to have. I find after a while in one spot I tend to get restless. I need a change of scenery, a new set of people to be around. If I wait long enough though things usually work out. There are a few people that I don't tire of, and a few that I just need to move on from. This sounds horrible. Don't think I am telling everyone I am sick of them, because I am not. I just feel sometimes with being around the same group of people over and over that I am not progressing anywhere. I am almost hindered. Anyways, just somethin on my mind.

I guess that thought leads to the next thought I have been having. Roommates. I love my roommates! I am really lucky to have good roommates. I love them as them, not what they do sometimes. We often throw sarcastic remarks back and forth at each other. It's all in good fun, no hurt intended. It comes to a point though that sarcasim and making fun of each other is enough. People used to make fun of me all time in High School just out of love because I was easy to poke fun at. It didn't bother me, but it did when that is all I heard. While we can enjoy making fun of each other, it doesn't uplift anyone. Why can't we just honestly compliment eachother, and point out the good in eachother? We would be a lot happier that way.

Just a few thoughts. There are more thoughts I could vent, but I shouldn't. I actually did, but erased the paragraph. So hmmm...it's a mystery now of what I said!

Just another manic monday

So there are no more Monday holidays to look forward too. Sadness! I guess that's good because having a Monday holiday throws my week off. I can't stay focused when that happens. Well, I can't stay focused at any time. Hmm...oh well. The weather has been beautiful lately. That makes me happy. I love when I can sit outside and feel the sunshine, or when I come inside and I can still smell the dirt and grass. I love the birds chirping. It's such a happy time. I feel like Cinderella, Snow White, Aurora, all those gals who talk to animals except I don't talk to animals. If you think about it all those girls had pretty sad lives. Now don't think I am saying I have a sad life. I have a happy life. I don't feel like them in this sense. They didn't have friends to talk to, so they had to talk to animals. Well, Aurora had her three "aunts" to talk to you, but I don't know if their minds where all there most of the time. They were fairies, what do you expect? If I was a fairy my mind wouldn't be all together most of the time. I do talk to animals sometimes, but they don't talk back, and they don't understand me. I guess that is the difference between me and them and the fact that I am not royalty.

I am getting really excited to go home in April. Less than 2 months away! It's crazy that my time in Utah has flown by. I came her not knowing what to expect, and now it is time to go. I wasn't all that thrilled of entering the Utah world, but ya know, it's been quite worth it. I have learned so much, and I have good memories from this place. Where else could I of had the experiences I had here? I love changes in life. They keep life exciting and entertaining. It's hard to accept the changes sometimes, but I'd rather have change then monotony all the time.
Who knows where I'll be in 3-4 months. I could still be in the USA or maybe in South America, Europe, Alabama, Machu Picchu, anywhere! Scarry, but exciting.

Well, I think this is enough for today. Have a fantastic day everyone!

Your horoscope

So today is a pretty dead day at work. Not much to do. I finished my work around 12 and I am here till 5. So instead of being productive I decided to read my horoscopes listed on the Vogue and Seventeen websites. I am not one to live my day to day life by reading my horoscopes, but sometimes I break down and I secretly read them. It's no secret anymore, but who doesn't read their horoscopes sometimes? I really wonder how they come up with what to say. I read two different horoscopes for the same day for Scorpio. Both were different. Does neptune have split personalities? And since today is a full moon day, does the gravitational pull tug in different ways? If I was on a magazine staff I would have so much fun just thinking up random things to doom people to. Horoscopes are so general that of course they'll fit most people's lives. My horoscope from Seventeen for today said:

"Today's full moon will energize your group affiliations today, as you reap the results of a fundraiser or an effort to raise school spirit. In the next few days, you'll take extra notice of a guy friend and find out your relationship might be able to morph into something even more beautiful."

I have a institute meeting tonight to plan a stake institute activity. So I KNOW that I will reap the results of it, and better watch out guy friends because I have guy friends and they will morph! Tomorrow I am supposedly going to get a lot done on a written project. That's nice especially since I am not aware of any written projects I have to do since I am not in school.

Horoscopes are just humorous and corny, but then why do I keep reading them? Do they add a drug to the words to get people hooked. I don't know. Maybe I am going to change my major to a horoscopes.

Ah! Alas! Another weekend approaches!

Another weekend is almost here, but not only any weekend. An extended weekend of freedom! I am excited. I went to the doctors this morning for my mission physical. A bit awkward at some parts, but it's done. I am healthy, so it is good to know that I won't die to tomorrow. I guess it was worrying me more than I realized, not dying but the appointment. So, I feel happy . Last night I spent a few hours with my greatest brother Brady! Everyone knows Brady. It was fun and nice to catch up and eat. So yeah, another short blog to blogment on.
Have a great day!

short posty posted post

I keep writing these novels! You bring up my blog only to find "War and Peace"! I won't get any comments that way! It's like I won't get any dates by telling every guy the complete version with no details left out of a dog story. Gosh! Ha! So the thought right now is to always eat your blue box macaroni cheese because then you can sing the blues. Since this is short I will be waiting for your lovely and excited comments.

I met a oppossum

As I was walking I randomly met a oppossum. I talked to her and she talked to me. True story? It's up for you to decide.

So, last night was a random night again for me and my roommate, Karly. We have the same way of thinking and we play off of eachother's ideas. It sometimes gets us into trouble, and sometimes it is quite fun. Last night she was frustrated b/c she needed to watch "Monty Python in Search of the Holy Grail" for a class, but "the couple" was out in the living room. She didn't want to ask them to watch a movie because she didn't want to be in the same room as them. Being in the same room as them is overwhelming. She left soon after to drive off some frustration then returned to find the couple still there! She still wasn't happy. Both her and I took out the trash to the dumpster. A simple task, right? Right! A task that should take all of 2 minutes max. Well, we got distracted on the way back from the dumpster journey. We decided to write in the snow "Just get married already!" right outside our apartment. It was a hint, but one we didn't want them to know we wrote. So we wanted to sneak into our apartment. There's a problem with that. There's only one door, the front door. We went around back to our window to see if we could sneak in through there. We have a double layer window plus a screen. All were shut. We tried getting Nicole our other roommate to open it up. It didn't work. So we returned through the front door defeated. In our room we decided to make a second attempt. We opened all our windows and pushed out the screen. It was escape time! We crawled out our window and jumped down. While all this is happening, our other engaged roommate, Keira, was in the car outside our window with her fiancee witnessing our efforts. So out we went and came back in through the front door. We did it again. Then we crawled into our room and went out the front door. We did this repeatedly probably for 6-7 rounds. "The couple" didn't notice! Isn't it strange that someone enters the front door only to enter it again a couple minutes later? Are they that much in their own engaged world? Just get married already! Aughh! Please if I ever become like that, can someone sit me down slap me once and tell me? Thank you. It was a bit humorous before when Karly was gone. I made myself some hot chocolate and sat at our kitchen table. One minute later the couple did the same thing. I wasn't in the conversation so I moved to the living room that they had previously occupied. A couple minutes later they came back. I then moved to my room. I am surprised they didn't come into my room to have some engagement time. We should request with BYU to get separte BYU housing for engaged couples. Once you are engaged you are required to move to these places. That could create problems, but it is a thought. Okay I am done releasing.

Poetry Corner

This is my favorite poem. I found it randomly one day in SVU library in an old classic looking A.E. Housman book. This is how I feel many times. Each day has a potential to be filled with so much. I have the ideas of what to fill them with, but the ideas often don't become actions in the day. Today I shall be better.

A.E. Housman

XVI

How clear, how lovely bright,
How beautiful to sight
Those beams of morning play,
How heaven laughs out with glee

Where, like a bird set free,
Up from the eastern sea
Soars the delightful day.

To-day I shall be strong,
No more shall yield to wrong,
Shall squander life no more;

Days lost, I know not how,
I shall retrieve them now;
Now I shall keep the vow
I never kept before.


— Ensanguining the skies
How heavily it dies
Into the west away;
Past touch and sight and sound,
Not further to be found,

How hopeless under ground
Falls the remorseful day.

To be continued...

So we came back to our dorm tired as heck. We scooped up the poop and threw it away in the dumpster outside. There was no way we would keep it in our room. We weren't quite sure what to do about cleaning checks since we had clothes everywhere and a closet that smelt like poo. We showered and got ready, but it didn't really matter if we did or not because everywhere I went I could smell the dog poo. It seemed like it seeped into our clothes and just stayed there. I felt like the reject girl of the day that smelt worse than BO. The smell was forever in our noses. After classes Maggie had told our RA that we were doing some deep closet cleaning and that we wouldn't be ready for cleaning checks. Our RA said that was fine. Miracle! After Maggie and I barely survived our classes we went to the grocery store to purchase a can of lysol disinfectant, a thing of strong airfreshner, and garbage bags. We came back and lined the back seat of my car with garbage bags and duck tap. This dog was not going to poop on my back a seat! We went to our friends house and picked up Chammomile and drove to the kennel that we were told about. We found the place and talked to the owners of the kennel. They said they thought they knew who the owner was because the owners had called earlier checking to see if they had their dog. So in the end our efforts were worth it. Through all that we saved a dense smelly dog and we deeply cleaned our room and our closet especially. I don't think it was ever that clean until after the dog poo. So the moral of the story is you need to smell like dog poo too reap the rewards and feel the joy.

A Bloggy not blobby weekend.

So it's the weekend...almost. I have another two hours to freedom. I am excited. I haven't been doing much today, but pass the time. I could call 274 people about their pending accounts, but I am not really up to that now. Maybe I'll make it my goal to call 10 more. We shall see. Wowsers. This week went by fast which I am sooo happy it did. I just want the time to pass by quickly, so I can do somethin else beside work. Work is great and all, but customer service isn't how I want to spend the rest of my life.

So, I guess I can tell a story now. The name of my blog as you can read is "Dogsbreath". Now why is it named dogsbreath? Well, my sister gave me a book to write all my random stories in for my 21st birthday, and titled it "Dogsbreath". One of my highlighted stories of my life is about a dog name Chammomile. I was working out with one of my friends for a strength training class at Southern Virginia University during my sophomore year. We had just finished and came out of the gym, and saw a stray bassett hound. Oh boy, did this dog smell. She was kind as can be and had a hurt back leg. We weren't sure of what to do with her, so we just left with a bit of a guilty conscience. I went to my dorm room and changed clothes to get ready to go to the library to attempt to study. As I entered the main lobby which is in the same building as my dorm I saw my roommate, Maggie, and the bassett hound. I was surprised to see a smelly dog in a nice historic lobby that was always kept clean and nice for visitors. The security gaurd was sitting at the desk and was fully aware of the dog. I joined my roommate and gave attention to the dog. Soon, the security guard's daughter, another security gaurd as well, came in with dog food and a bowl for water. We fed the dog, and gave her some water, but through it all we were still fully aware that this dog stank like nothin else. The security guards, as great as they are, told us that on the top floor of the class room building was a bathroom with a tub that the teachers can use. A secret bathroom! So exciting! The thing with SVU was that it was built in the 1800s as a hotel then it became a girls seminary, so the building where the bathroom was old as was the bathtub. There were four of us, Maggie, a girl in an improv group with me, and a boy who was a senior in highschool. We had the boy pick up this dense stinky dog and we made our way over to the classroom building. We saw when we approached the building that the cleaning lady was inside cleaning. How were we going to get past her? We couldn't let her see us. So with all of us in a line we quickly walked past the classroom where she was cleaning. We climbed the three flights of stairs and found the secret teachers bathroom. We hurridly ran inside and shut the door. The tub was ancient. It was brown and gross and didn't have a shower head to shower. It was purely a tub to take a bath in, and I wouldn't ever want my bare bottom to touch the bottom of that tub. We heaved the dog in the tub and turned on the water. I don't think the water had been run in years, because it smelt like rusty pipes. We let the water run for a bit, then began to fill the tub. Maggie and I had ran and gotten some shampoo of ours (Suave Chammomile, hense the dog's name Cammie or Chammomile) and an old towel. It took all of us to hold down dense Cammie in the tub. We were making so much noise! We were afraid the cleaning lady would hear us and come in. We shampooed Cammie as fast as we could, and she was sure dirty! We still didn't get her completely clean. We dried her off and then emptied the dirty tub. Now we had a dog that was wet and smelly, which made it worse. We had Gretchen, the other girl with us, distract the cleaning lady as the rest of us ran/sneaked down the opposite stairs. We got the dog back safely and unnoticed to the main building. Now what were we going to do with her? The guards changed and a guy guard came on duty. I knew him and he was a cool guy. The other two in the group left, and then there was Maggie and I and Cammie the stinky wet dense "in heat" dog with a hurt back leg. We were talking to the security guard about what we could do with the dog. He warned us not the give it to the pound, because most likely they would kill her after a couple days. He then told us that there was a kennel we could take her to the next day, but in the meantime we had to find a place to put the dog for the night. We thought of the blue house, a house that was off campus down the street where are friends lived. So Maggie, Cammie, and I ventured down the street in the cold night to see if they would take a smelly dog. We got there and brought the dog in. The girls that lived there were all hesitant to take the dog of smells, and then when the head girl came home she absolutely refused to take the dog. So, out we went into the cold again. Poor Cammie just stood there shivering because she was wet and cold. We had no clue what to do to save this dog. We brought her back to the main lobby. We were sitting there thinking with not much success when the security guard suggested we take her to our room. No way! There would be now way we would be allowed to keep a dog in our dorm room escpecially with cleaning checks the next day. He convinced us by saying that if we were caught Dean Hansen knows us. We haven't done anything wrong, and no one would be that heard hearted when we were trying to save a dog. He would stick up for us if he needed to as well. We asked him about if the dog had to go to the bathroom. He told us that the dog was old enough that she'd let us know. Well, okay! We made our way down the hall to get Cammie onto the elevator. We attempted over and over to get her to go on the elevator. She would come right up to it then run away. Maggie finally had to chase her pick her up and place her on the elevator. Two girls saw us and we explained ourselves, and then they decided to assist us in our efforts. They helped us get the dog into the elevator and then they walked ahead of us on our floor to make sure there was no one there especially any RAs. It was clear. We ran down the hall and went into our room and quickly closed the door. We threw out everything in our closet into our room, and placed a rug, food, and water into the closet and pushed Cammie into the closet and shut the door. The room smelt like wet dog, so we opened our two big windows all the way. It was a cold night remember. We put on about 4 layers of clothes and went to bed. Or plan was to wake up at 6:00 am and take Cammie down to the blue house again and store her in their shed. We went to sleep only to wake up soon after to the early morning alarm. Maggie inquired if we had to get up, and said we had to to get Cammie out of here before everyone wakes up. Then all of a sudden we heard a whine, then another. Oh, no! The dog had to stay quiet. Maggie ran over to the closet and opened the door and shouted "Holy crap!". I came over to see a closet full of dog poop. This dog was storing poop probably for a year in her, and it smelt horrible, like most poop would. We had to get this dog out of there. I ran ahead to open the elevator door, and Maggie came after hold the dense dog minus a few poop pounds. As she was running Cammie decided with the bouncing she had to pee. So, there was Maggie with a dog peeing on her pants. We got into the elevator and got out of the building with no one seeing miraclously. We made our way back down the hill to the blue house. We got there and looked at the shed. The shed didn't have a door and there was no room for the dog to begin with. Now what? We had classes to go to and cleaning checks to make miracles. I ran up to our room and called our friend. Her family had just moved to Buena Vista and had a house and a dog. I explained to her dad the dog situation and asked if we could keep the dog there for half a day until we could take it to the kennel. Because they are wonderful they said yes. So we brought the dog to their house and then came home.

I need to go to work now, so this will be continued.....

Blogsday

Happy Blogsday of a Thursday! So I guess I should be writing in this everyday. There aren't any exciting stories for today, but maybe in the near future I'll have a random story to tell.

I am at work right now taking a break when I shouldn't be taking a break, but hey, I neeeeeeded to write right now, or I would be ruined if I didn't (not really)! So I was thinking this morning (obvious statement) while driving like I normally do while listening to CDs my brother made that I am extensively borrowing of mixed 80's songs. While I was thinking I thought of rabbits, and grasshoppers, and fruit baskets, and whoa wait! I wasn't thinking about those things! Just joshin ya! I was thinking about it is either feast or famine in life. Sometimes it seems like there is no where to go and that I would like just two options to decide between, and sometimes I am presented with 4 or more paths I could take. There never is a medium, but that's great! If there was a medium I wouldn't be going anywhere because I am living my life in the medium. Is this making sense? It's exciting to have so many options, and when there aren't any options I just have to learn to except live as it is and learn and live the one option I have. Now I have multiple paths I could go. I just have to prioritize them. My first priority is to put my papers in for a mission. I will apply to different school as a just in case I don't go. I'd rather have it that way then applying to schools and sending my mission papers in just in case I go on a mission. If anything right now I am learning more about decison making then I ever have. I have never been good at deciding between things.

Well, that is about it for right now. It's not a funny blog, sorry if you were expecting one. Maybe later I will tell a joke or somethin. Well, whoever reads this enjoy your day and eat pickles and ham. It will do you good.

I am sooooo excited!

I truly am soooooo excited for the blogger of blubber. I just can't wait to tell you my precious memories and inner thoughts of my inner workings. What more can I say about the inards?